Heartaches

Sometimes I no longer understand if I should give importance to a heartache, the fact of acutely missing somebody, etc…

Really I used to wonder if a heartache can be felt, and it sure does.
I literally can feel my left chest area aching and I feel like there’s something missing…and my heart tears up…

It isn’t the first time I’ve felt this kind of pain, but this time it feels more ‘real’, more ‘tangible’,…

I’m just waiting for the fire within to die out and it sure is taking its time…

I just resigned, given up…or trying to.

Every breath feels like a fight against myself to let it all go and put my trust in something more powerful so as to stand up, complete and filled up with love, peace as well as happiness…

With time, I’m reaching out for comfort and solace in the arms of my God, praying for the strength to face it all alone…

I have to, try, for the first time, to mend myself whole, back again with the help of God instead of searching for comfort in the wrong places…

I’m sad to feel that there is no true peace, companionship and friendship, in the arms of another human being. It isn’t perfect. Nor even close to perfect.

I haven’t been blessed with someone I can rely on at my lowest lows, nor a shoulder to cry on, nor been special enough to someone, so I must do with what I have.

I try not to resent anyone…simply to welcome the tears and the pain, for it is better I suffer silently than show others where the wounds are, they will only inflict pain in exactly the same places…

Don’t speak, don’t cry, just keep to yourself, and look carefully for those rare gems that bring solace and joy to your heart when it is hurting badly!

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