I might be young, going on twenty, but I have had my fair share of heartaches.
For the time being, I just feel acutely lonely for the friends I usually confide in at almost every level have ceased to be part of my everyday life.
There’s nothing more disheartening that realising no one cares enough to really be there or listen to you…
I might continue ranting about loneliness but my life is blessed with people who even if are not aware of my everyday struggles, share moments with me that makes everyday worth the while. Their smiles, laughs, and presence lift me up.
It’s so hard to find someone who you might connect with in a fulfilling way, who you can talk to about your spiritual struggles and philosophical questions.
But when it comes to being attracted, and feeling something in this little heart of mine, I always find myself in situations where I end up just casted out, second best, or simply disliked.
I spend time focusing on the qualities rather than the flaws, it usually comes as a big surprise to me to be disapproved for being who I am.
I’ve changed over the years. I’ve learned to accept people for who they are, gone out of my way to make an effort to talk and be a friend to those much much more different than me.
Gone out of my comfort zone…
Yet, it’s so disappointing that not everyone respect you or even love you for who you are.
One has to have money, be dressed according to society’s likes and dislikes, and adopt the worldwide standards to be admired, noticed…considered…
I don’t say love because love holds much more meaning than whatever it holds for the world.
I’m just sad that the true wealth of the world is not recognised.
Whatever we have inside is discarded for the outside appearances. Each and everyone acts out in a worldwide play, adopting a character instead of having the courage to be free.
Without freedom, there is no love.
As hard as it might be to walk alone, to be rejected, and disapproved, I’m not going to cry for being true to myself…
I just wish, someday, somewhere, someone might find me and really see me as well as love me…to forever keep…
Meanwhile I’ll just have to drink a cup of tea alone but always smiling ^_^